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If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner.
~Omar N. Bradley

Creating balance between home and work life has become more and more diffuse with our reliance on technology.  These days it is rare to meet anyone without multiple computing devices such as iPads, iPhones, and laptops.  Most of my friends pride themselves in their ability to stay connected 24/7.  People often share that they are looking for work-life balance which seems to be just out of reach living in the Bay Area.  I often ask my clients, “If your available all the time what does that mean?”  I am not talking about their dating lives.  I am discussing their relationship with technology.  Too often, people find themselves with the feeling that work advancement means being plugged in at all times, so that this precious balance is not possible.  What is the price of letting ourselves be out of work-life balance?

In my clinical experience,  the failure to “shut down” from technology creates stress, depression, anxiety, and an overall feeling of pressure.  The reason people have given for not “shutting down” have included desire from the boss to perform at a high level, one’s own fear of failure at work, and concerns of things going wrong if not paying attention to work in the off hours.  Some of my client’s have reported that they have little time to focus on their actual work due continually checking emails and texts.  Others have reported that their relationships have suffered because they cannot be present for their loved ones.   A good friend of mine, who is a project manager, has said that she is concerned about the speed at which her team is operating and the potential burn out.  She stated, “I hope that my team members take the time to disconnect from technology for the sustainability of their families and their health.” 

Below are four ways to help create more work-life balance.  You may want to reflect on your relationship to technology.

 Practice Focusing your Attention

Life unfolds in front of us and our attention is our greatest power.  What we pay attention to affects where our energy goes, which then creates our life.  Being able to balance one’s life is highly correlated with our level of awareness of our attention and where it is going.   How often is your attention going to checking your email?  Do you really need to check it so often?

2.  Confront your Inner Restlessness

How many of you have had the experience of being in a cafe where two people are eating lunch, yet both are looking at their phones?  It typically goes that one person gets a text so that their attention is no longer focused on their friend sitting across the table.  The friend then picks up their own phone as not to not sit alone being restless.  There is always the moment of choice. 
I encourage you to take a deep breathe before you go for the comfort of your phone.  Perhaps, something fresh and unexpected can occur as you notice the world around you.

3.  Set Boundaries

Let people know how to communicate with you and by what means.  I have had several single clients tell me that their dates actually keep their phones on during dinner and check texts throughout the meal.  When confronted, the date has no sense of there being an issue.  Those in relationship have reported that they often have a threesome in the bedroom: their partner, themselves, and their computer.  This threesome has not been helpful to the intimacy so longed for in the relationship.  Setting limits and boundaries with our technology is not only about respecting ourselves and others, but about the quality of connection.

 Work Expectations
Discuss after hours communication expectations with your manager.  Communicate with your manager and collagues about personal time and when you are and are not available.  Allow yourself to be fully “tuned in” with all your technology.  Allow yourself to be fully “tuned out” from all your technology.  After all, who is in control you or your computer?


Whether you believe that technology is helping you balance your life or not, ultimately we all have to find a way to manage its power in our lives. 

For the last few years I have coordinated the Wisdom 2.0 Conference, which my brother, Soren Gordhamer, founded in 2010.   The conference brings together neuroscientists, techies, yoga teachers, and corporate mangers to discuss the merging of technology and wisdom to help people be more in balance.  Check out his website at www.wisdom2.0.com.