Lord Tennyson wrote In Memoriam A.H.H, “Tis better to have loved and lost? than never to have loved at all.” In his poem, he meditates on the search for hope after great loss and does not envy those who have not felt pain for they are like caged birds who have never flown free. This is how it is when we risk giving our heart to another human being. People often assume failure in love is a personal weakness but do not acknowledge their strength- what it takes to get upended by love, to feel fully alive, open, and embrace the unknown. It takes great courage to mend a broken heart and even more to be open once again to love's embrace.
When loves ends, a space in our heart, which feels closed and claustrophobic, can begin to open with new insights and wisdom, if we let it. All of lives experiences offer lessons to be learned, and if we can face our fear and anxiety with kindness and compassion toward ourselves, then we can fully embrace new beginnings. No one is perfect and free of “issues”, so to expect this of others and ourselves is not realistic. However, the real challenge is learning to ride the waves of life: through anger, disappointment, and sadness, as well as through joy, happiness, and contentment, with hope we will be guided to shore. And on shore, we find a richness to our lives, a better understanding of who we are and what we want, and feeling a little more like a bird flying free.
